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We put Scout down this morning. For anyone who doesn’t know, Scout was a Black Labrador. Scout was a member of my family. Scout was my little brother.

It was time. His health has been getting worse for quite a while. He’d actually gotten to the point that he couldn’t go up, or down, stairs on his own. (And my parents live in a two bedroom house, with the bedrooms upstairs.) He was on a lot of medications, and towards the end, was having trouble even breathing.

My parents took him in to the vet earlier today. I flew in a little while later, as fast as I could get here. My parents and I spent the rest of the day together, and then got dinner with my sister as well. We have spent a lot of the day reminiscing, often with tears on our cheeks. It hurts, losing him; but it’s fun to think of him, and to tell all our stories about him.

And I’ve been expecting it for quite a while. One of the times I was down previously, I sat with him for an hour or so, just petting him and crying; I actually thought he was going to die that night. Another visit, I slept in a sleeping bag so I could be next to him the whole night.

Suffice it to say, I had already said my goodbyes, more than once.

It was still a shock, though. Hearing that we were going to put him down…

I miss him, and I’m tearing up writing this… but I also know I wouldn’t change it for a second. I loved Scout, we loved Scout, and he loved us. And the time I got to spend with him is absolutely worth the pain of losing him.

I love you Scout. Thanks for being in my life. Thanks for waking me up by burrowing your nose under my arm. Thanks for looking so silly, carrying your own leash in your mouth. Thanks for coming in to find out why I was down, even when I wanted the whole world to leave me alone. Thanks for making me laugh and smile. Thanks for making almost everyone you ever met, smile.
I’ll miss you.

PS: Wil Wheaton went through some of the same experience with his cat Felix. It’s beautifully written. I highly recommend it, especially if you’ve also lost someone (pet, family member, whatever).

PPS: I’ll be putting up some kind of memorial for Scout in the coming weeks (photo or video, I think). And I guess I’ll have a name to write on The Temple next year.